We’re down to a little more than 12 hours left in 2009 and the first
decade of the 2000s. Here’s hoping the new year and the new decade will
bring some much-needed changes in the world of sports.
Don’t get me wrong, I love sports, always have, always will. But even a 
model
of perfection like the lovely and talented Miss Adrianna Lima (right), can have a
bad hair day from time to time (although that’s yet to be substantiated). So, while
sports and the athletes who participate in them provide us with the thrills and excitement
that we carry with us from year to year and pass on from decade to decade, they could
all use a little makeover from time to time. With that in mind, I give my wish list
for the 2010 world of sports.
ChadOchoCinco: Let 2010 provide him with the courage to overcome his fear of
public speaking and his overwhelming shyness. Let’s get this guy his own show on one
of the premium networks so we really find out what he has to say, uncut and uncensored.
C’mon, we’ve all had enough of Kim, Chloe and the wax museum-ready Mr. Jenner by now
haven’t we?
Chris Johnson: Let 2010 provide him with the respect and MVP award he deserves.
This guy has outgained everybody in the league (by more than 500 yards), he’s closing
in on 2,000 yards for the season (a feat only 6 others have achieved), has rushed
for more than 100 yards in 10 straight games and is one monster game against the Seahawks
and their pourous defense (they quit weeks ago) away from breaking the all-time single-season
rushing record. Take this guy off the Titans and 0-16 is a very real possibility.
Adrian Peterson: Let 2010 provide him with 1. A coach/coordinator who isn’t
so afraid to upset his prima donna QB that he mishandles one of the premier running
backs in the league. We’re all aware that when you acquire a HOF QB your offensive
gameplan is going to shift its focus somewhat, but when you allow your QB’s thin skin
to affect your playcalling and you’re No. 1 threat isn’t utilized to the fullest,
you open yourself up to non-stop second guessing from fans and the media. And ithis
particular case, all the criticism is justified.
2. A lifetime supply of Stickem.
Brett Favre: Let 2010 provide him with the opportunity to become the NFL’s
first player-coach. While many of us realize that Favre has that power already in
2009, let’s make it official and give him full reign next year so we can stop all
the BS and the Vikings press conferences can start supplying us with information instead
of continuing to find ways to disguise the truth and tip-toe around the questions
being asked.
Mike Leach (Former Texas Tech football coach): Let 2010 provide him with
a three-hour “training session” with Craig James in a tool shed and site to be determined.
I’m thinking MSG, pay-per-view event. I’d pay $19.99 to see it.
Urban Meyer: Let 2010 provide him with the ability to make a sound decision
and stick to it. If you’re going to flip-flop on retirement, learn from the best in
the business and wait a couple months before changing your mind.
Tiger Woods: Let 2010 provide you with the chance to make up for all the fun
you missed growing up as a golf prodigy. Take some time off, vacation with your significant
others and really get crazy and check out all the stuff you missed while you were
stuck practicing your game all those years. OK, so you did that already. This time,
you wait until your divorce is finalized so you can do all those things with a clear
conscience. You can go knock down the ladies like 2-footers and when the paparazzi
catches you in the act, you’re just a single guy out on the town enjoying your new-found
freedom instead of a married guy creeping around in the shadows.
PGA Tour: Let 2010 provide you with a new character or group of characters
that allows us fans to continue watching. With Tiger out of the mix for an undetermined
period of time, you guys are gonna need something, anything, to keep you on the radar.
Finding a real-life Happy Gilmore is an idea but that might be tough. Maybe you could
allow tackling while guys are on the putting green like that commercial. Not sure,
but you better do something or your fan base will leave quicker than Elin did.
MLB Baseball: Let 2010 provide you with a way to start your season earlier
so the World Series can onc again be referred to as the Fall Classic. When the Championship
series is wrapping up at the same time most of us are stuffing turkeys, something
is wrong. Start the season earlier primarily with West Coast teams hosting or teams
with roofed stadiums and you’ll get back on track and the World Series will be seen
by more fans because it won’t be going head to head with the almighty NFL. Everybody
wins.
NCAA Football: Let 2010 help you find a way to create a playoff system so teams
like TCU, Cincinnati and Boise State can be rewarded for finishing a season undefeated.
Nuff said.
Facebook: Let 2010 provide you with a way to eliminate all of your users who
feel obligated to post every single move they make throughout every day of their lives.
I brushed my teeth and used the restroom this morning, too, we all did. It’s just
most of us didn’t feel obligated to share it with the rest of the world.
Twitter: Let 2010 provide you with a new format that allows Tweets to be 175 characters
instead of 140. While I like the concise posts, sometimes I got a little bit more
to say than 140 allows. Maybe we can somehow work with Facebook and if you’re one
of the few that only posts relevant, useful posts that never involve bodily functions
or any posts that resemble: “I’m tired,” “I got a headache,” “Goin to sleep now,”
“Getting hungry,” etc… You get the bonus characters to work with.
Scott Fragale: A chance encounter with the aforementioned Miss Lima. Because
I’m in a committed relationship, the encounter would simply consist of getting her
thoughts on the modeling business, Victoria Secrets’ future plans etc… Basically
just want to pick her brain about the world of fashion. Next to sports I find high-fashion
the most … anybody buying this? OK, then I’ll stop the charade.
To all of my four (make that three loyal readers, c’mon mom step it up), thanks for
following and I hope everyone has a great 2010.
Continue reading about Not So Deep Thoughts: 2010 Sports Wish List »
